Party is like a cellery. Good for your nerves. That's why you shouldn't miss it. Or maybe it would be best if I did miss it?

It's so weird how much confidence can a person get just by consuming some alcohol. I guess that's why he does it? I don't know. And I have no idea why he still likes to send a messeage even though this just doesn't work. Well I know it doesn't and I still want to talk to him. But I think just our wish won't do much. I think that is where it ends. I feel nothing and his short messeage was a strong one. A messeage with no emotions whatsoever.
I don't know if he finally figured out that this is not going ok, or maybe he's mad at me because I talked more to all of his friends than him or maybe he thinks that I am kinda like Ana whom I before critised. I can't get that look out of my head. I was alone with his friend in a bathroom and he came and set his eyes on a friend. He didn't even look at me. As if he couldn't. I don't know. I hope that all there is is part of God's plan. Cuz if I screwed up with God's plan by screwing this friendship..well than I just don't know what I'm gonna do.
God lead me. Take away what I want and replace it with Your will only. That's freedom, right? If I take my freedom and give it to You? I don't know how to do this, so please..do it for me or at least help me through this. Somehow.